|
Post by Tay Mation on Jan 14, 2004 17:34:55 GMT -5
Tay here with Traffic! There are a few hold ups for ANYONE trying to find parking! at the local Community college! I saw one guy driving around for a whole hour trying to find a spot. I merely laughed at him from my helicopter.
Also there was an accident on 54th S. and 9th East. so stay away from there, unless you like giant clouds of smoke making it hard to breath. Traffic on the free way appears to be good at the moment, due to the fact that The entire freeway in the salt lake valley had been destroyed. It would seem a few people are trying to jump from one remaining freeway to the next. (which would be from Boutniful to The point of the mountain)
This just in! It would seem the free way was destroyed by the immense hordes of Deamons fleeing Hell in order to escape the terrible singing of the American Idol Failures. It has also been reported they attack one they hear singing badly. While a good voice does sooth the savage deamon! Back to you people in the studio.
|
|
|
Post by Cat-Girl Ayame on Jan 14, 2004 19:27:25 GMT -5
Uh oh! Hordes of demons escaping! Freeways destroyed! Parking IMPOSSIBLE! Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS! and since they are fictional characters, all we can do is sit back...AND DON SOME PROTON PACKS AND GO KICK SOME GHOST BUTT! WHO'S WITH ME?!?
*runs out singing the Ghostbusters theme very loudly*
|
|
|
Post by TerdBurgler on Jan 14, 2004 22:02:49 GMT -5
*Power slides up in a poorly painted white minivan with a ghost logo on the side*
Let's roll!
Hi, I'm Terd Burgler, and with me today is Ayame. Today, we're going to show you how to properly catch a ghost. Now, before you go out, you must first get your self a nuclear powered proton pack, capable of delivering an ion beam strong enough to blow through a 747. Second, you must get yourself a posotrtonic psychokinetic trap, that generally blind anyone who looks at it when active. And of coarse, you'll need a highly sensative laser containment system. Most of these materials can be found at your local Home Depot or Wal Mart.
Once you have these items, it also reccomended that you have some form of transportation that makes it obvious what you're up to. Something like a large ghost logo, or occasionally shooting your proton pack should make it obvious for everyone.
Okay, we've just arrived on scene with REV, where it seems that Deamon's are brutally slaughtering a former American Idol contestant. *throws Rev a proton pack* (alright guys, don't shoot till you know the Idol is dead. The world is a better place without them) Alright, let's do it. *Proton packs throws huge beams at deamon* [yelling over the noise] As you can see, we're using the proton packs to shoot the deamon and lift him above the ground. Once the deamon is high enough, we place the trap underneat the deamon. Make sure not to look at the trap when you activate it. And- *trap opens in briliant light and suddenly deamon is gone* That's how you catch a ghost. Now technically, a deamon isn't really a ghost, but it works anyway. The standard ghost catching method will work on ghosts, hellspawn, and the occasional lesser-diety. It even works on a succubi. But remember, it will not work on creatures of the night, like vampires, lycanthrope, and your run-of-the-mill monster. So if you ever find yourself with ghosts, just do it yourself. Happy hunting!
|
|
|
Post by Cat-Girl Ayame on Jan 15, 2004 0:32:44 GMT -5
T...T...T...Terd..... big...big...teeth....tentacles....m...mmm.....m...MONSTER!
|
|
|
Post by Rev on Jan 15, 2004 2:48:32 GMT -5
This is Rev, reporting live as myself, Ayame, and Terd are fleeing the scene with a huge-ass monster following close behind us. With this in mind, I only have one thing that comes to my mind:
What happens if we cross these proton beams? I think now is a great time to try, who's with me? C'mon, it'll be fun!
Ayame-I know you're a curious one. Terd-I know you're a...a...one.
So c'mon!
|
|
|
Post by Cat-Girl Ayame on Jan 15, 2004 5:32:35 GMT -5
Well....this new body of mine is still under warantee. What the heck! I'M IN!
*however, I am still running*
|
|
|
Post by Moero on Jan 15, 2004 19:39:55 GMT -5
Hi, I'm Moero, live on the scene in Hell where I would just like to point out that it's still about 15 or so degrees back on Earth... The gateway to hell has been so enlarged and overexpanded from all the traffic going to and fro, that Charon himself doesn't know what's going on. But that's not the point. The point is, all this below-freezing air is slowly seeping into the underworld, and since the demons are all leaving and/or being destroyed,
*she glares at the rest of the crew*
there's no one left to work the furnace to counteract. Meaning that soon, hell will have frozen over. While this has many various implications, for one, Rev getting a date, it also means that the core of the earth will be frozen, turning the entire planet into a giant ice block with billions of freezing inhabitants. It's going to be a long and bitter winter, folks.
|
|
|
Post by TerdBurgler on Jan 15, 2004 21:20:50 GMT -5
HOLY S***!!! This is Terd Burgler reporting where I have just peed my pants (Blast! It's hard to find suits like this at DI). This moster, as I can identify it, has five green tentacles, all green, and a purple colored torso. Mothers, if you've scolded your children for bieng afraid of a monster meeting this discription, believe me, it would scare the begeezers outa you. It seems that my running speed is slightly faster than that of the monster's but has an endurance to counteract any speed problems it has. Wait just a moment, I think it's got me. Yes, it most certainly has me. The tentacles seem to come complete with suckers, capable of lifting a young newsman. As you can see, it prefers the more dramatic way of eating it's victems by holding up above the mouth by one leg, and dangling them for just a moment before dropping them. This is Terd Burgler, on scene where all I can say is this: SOMEBODY PLEASE, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE RESCUE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
Post by Rev on Jan 16, 2004 3:41:30 GMT -5
This is Rev, reporting live, just a few yards from the beast. As you can see through the camera, Terd is just about to be dropped into the gullet of the monster. I'm here with Ayame as we set up this very extensive line of proton beams that, when activated, will all cross at the exact same point. I figure if we're gonna cause some kind of explosion, it should be a memorable one. Now, by my timing, we have about 8.4 seconds before the monster lets Terd go, so here we go.
*flips switch**nothing happens**Terd is heard screaming in the backround*
Oh, silly me.
*holds up plug*
I forgot to plug it in. Does anyone know where hell keeps their outlets?
|
|
|
Post by Tay Mation on Jan 16, 2004 4:09:51 GMT -5
Tay here, flying over the gates of hell. It would seem that Terd is mere seconds away from death, and the only hope is if someone knows where a Outlet is! Luckily I do. have visited hell on a prior vacation. I know that all Outlets are located a5 feet from the water Coolers. Luckily those are all over since Lucifer and his minions of the dark like to gather around and talk about the TV shows they all saw the night before, and ways to punish sinners. So I hope that is some help Rev...Back to you, oh! and if you all die, do I get the studio? just wonderin'
|
|
|
Post by Cat-Girl Ayame on Jan 16, 2004 4:29:44 GMT -5
Welcome back to Newscast. We're here fighting the monster, Rev is trying in vain to find Hell's water coolers so he can plug in our proton-beam monster destroying machine of electric death and stuff. OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD REV! STOP STARING AT THE MAGIC EYE POSTER! Terd is seconds away from death while Taymation circles overhead deliberately not dropping a rope to help him. *sigh* I guess it's up to me. (pulls out katana on a chain and starts swinging it). Folks at home, first off, don't try this. I am a trained robot. Secondly, my aim isn't all that great, so the next few moments may become graphic. *throws katana, spearing the monter in the eye* gross! Okay, lets try again...*this time, stabs Terd's foot* Third time's the charm. *sword wraps around Terd's leg and Ayame pulls him to safety*. REV NOW!
Rev?
|
|
|
Post by Tay Mation on Jan 16, 2004 12:09:42 GMT -5
A rope? Ayame you are a genious, I should have thought of that...well to late now....There is a spare exstension cord up here....do you think you need that?
|
|
|
Post by TerdBurgler on Jan 16, 2004 12:12:29 GMT -5
*standing next to Rev looking at magic eye poster* I may have a wounded foot, and in severe shock, but I just can't seem to get this one. Must.....loook....HARDER!
|
|
|
Post by Tay Mation on Jan 16, 2004 12:21:37 GMT -5
A magic Eye Poster?! They stand no chance to withstand that sort of power! Hell is a harsh mistress! *attaches cord to feet then jumps out of the chopper* *Grabs the cord to the proton beams* *runs to the nearest outlet avoiding the overwelming power of the magic eye poster* *plugs in the cord to outlet* *runs over to the magic eye* I see...It's a unicorn!!
|
|
|
Post by Cat-Girl Ayame on Jan 16, 2004 13:59:44 GMT -5
Warning: The proton excelerator packs have been activated. 3 minutes to reach minimal safe distance. This is your three minute warning. Please proceed to designated evacuation areas.
*repeat*
Welcome back to Newscast folks. We're here at the enterance to Hell where a computerized voice has just informed us that the proton packs will fire in 3 minutes and destroy us all (ala the boogeyman world from the Ghostbusters TV show). Rev, Terd, and Tay are all staring helplessly at a magic eye poster of Martin Van Buren (president Martin Van Buren) and Tay thinks it's a unicorn. There is only one thing to do.
*runs over to magic eye poster, pulls it off the wall and points it at Rev, Terd, and Tay. Begins to walk backwards to the exit*
follow the hypnotic poster boys. Where is Moero when I need her? Or Sparky?
Warning: The proton excelerator packs have been activated. 2 minutes to reach minimal safe distance. This is your two minute warning. Please proceed to designated evacuation areas.
|
|