The Newscast Break Room

[Double H]

*Double H after being escorted out of the studio by a team of Mr. Blacks got frustrated. He looked around and noticed that he was in the Gift shop instead of outside. The gift shop was full of random useless junk like a Moero alarm clock that instead of making noise it just starts beating the crap out of you until you wake up. the do it your self death machine kit with Tay's seal of approval. The Lone brand of eyeglasses. Ayame's pink corner where you can get almost anything imagined in the color pink. A Rev magic kit, and a sparky brand of AA sobriety . and of course many copies of "Burglering the News: the Memoirs of Terd Burgler" Double H wandered around the gift shop which was seeming bigger than the actual studio by the minute. after a few hours Double H found a costume section where he found a cheap card stock mask of Sparky the dog. string not included. after he paid $150 for the mask and another $50 for the string to tie it around his head. He headed back into the studio. Where he was free to roam around the studio with out interruption.*

[Cat-Girl Ayame]

Ayame stares at the shop clerk for a moment that seemed like months. She turns back to Terd...was he going to say something? She decided to wait for him to speak first.

[TerdBurgler]

*The woman stood there, scowling at Terd as he fumbled to collect himself. Terd would like to say that this was the most awkward thing that had happened to him that day but in all good consciousness, he couldn't; not after the incident this morning involving a shower cap, three otters and an entire tub of hummus. To spare you the details, it was only a little more awkward than this.*

Alright, I could really go for a distraction right now. Miss, allow me to introduce Mr. Flibble.

*Terd then held up a small penguin puppet over his right hand.*

You don't want to make him cross.

*The Lady now looked at Terd as if he were a complete mad-man. This was an improvement, or at least it was in his eyes. Terd would much rather be certifiably mad than branded as a creepy pervert. With that rightfully established, he tossed aside the puppet.*

Now then, I'd like to file a complaint with the corporate office. You see, I recently got this holocard that informed Ayame and I that we were receiving a new model to replace her. I'd really rather not have that happen. You see, on top of Ayame being sentient, self-aware, part bio-tech, an established on-screen personality, has a soul, is a romantic interest, comic relief, quintessential cat-girl, quintessential robot and quintessential pink hair, we've also grown rather attached to her as a friend.

*The woman sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose.*

Yes, sir. We see this all the time. You've become emotionally attached to your out-dated model, but you see, we at the Sesolo Boutique want to provide you with the highest quality in machinery as well as the best customer experience. Our Androids and Gamoids are only designed to run between five to ten years before they are replaced and your model is... well, we don't even have RECORDS of it. It has to be at least fourty years old, putting it well beyond our safe-use guarantee. Not to alarm you, but some older models, particularly the ID-10-T models have been prone to violent explosions after twenty years of use. Therefore, simply by Galactic Law, we are required to replace your model whether you want us to or not.

No, no, no, you don't get it! You see, Ayame doesn't even have her original parts. She's been blown up, re-built, had her core smashed, saved from the depths of hell and then reborn by heavenly forces beyond our comprehension!

Y-you mean, you've tampered with her internal components!?

*The lady stammered and took a cautionary step away from Terd and Ayame.*

Well, I didn't personally, but Tay kind of did a total over-haul on her after she exploded that one time. That was before the hell thing though.

*Without another word, the lady darted off into the boutique and grabbed a red phone and spoke quite urgently into it.*

Hello, Corporate? We need you to put express shipping on order #50678942B. Customer has tampered with their model! I repeat, customer has tampered with their model!

Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah! We wanted you to stop the order, not express-ship it!

*The woman spun around to face Terd and Ayame but stepped back, horrified.*

Get that thing away from me! Didn't you hear me before? These devices are incredibly sensitive! Even the slightest modifications to their internal systems could lead to catastrophic self-detonation and you said your friend gave it a complete over-haul! Your Gamoid is a ticking time-bomb waiting to go off! For your own safety and for those around you, your new model will be arriving as fast as possible and sending back this walking death-trap.

Well, FINE THEN! You can send your replacement but we are NOT packing Ayame up like an old toaster and shipping her back.

You don't get it. The new model is programmed to return the old model by any means necessary. It is, after all, for your own safety.

What do you mean 'any means necessary?'

In extreme cases, our newer models are equipped with death-o-rays to ensure the old model's safe termination.

So you're saying it'll shoot us with a death-o-ray if we try to stop it!?

It's for your own safety, sir.

[Tay Mation]

*Tay paced back and forth in his lab. The rehearsal show went okay, despite Sparky's kid showing up wanting child support, or something. To be honest, Tay was a little surprised that this was the first time such a thing had happened. Tay was sure that Sparky must have dozens of illegitimate pups running around. *

*The reason for Tay's pacing wasn't due to the dog, it was because he was still trying to work out why he was given this new assignment.*

*Of course, it would be very apparent as to why such things were happening come the morning. But Tay, was unaware of this fact. Tay just paced back and forth trying in vain to figure it out.*